Two recent references to this notion
A couple of years ago I wrote a blog post (https://donezra.com/178-do-you-need-a-life-of-purpose/) about having a life of purpose. There, thanks to reader and friend Cindy Deere, I distinguished between two levels of purpose. One is Big-P Purpose, a sort of life’s mission statement, which many writers say is essential, particularly for life after full-time work. My perspective was (and still is) that, while this may provide truly deep direction and fulfillment, most people don’t seem to have a Big-P Purpose – and that’s OK, because what we have instead is a number of little-p purposes, things that give us a more short-term focus that can be endlessly satisfying.
I found two recent references to this Big-P-little-p concept.
The first is actually a video discussion I had with David Toyne, the Chief Development Officer at Steadyhand, about retirement. I’ve known David for some years, and always enjoy his company and wisdom. Here’s how it appeared on their website a few days ago:
Retirement isn’t an ending; it’s a transition into a new phase of life filled with purpose, joy, and new opportunities. In this Coffee Break, we’re joined by Don Ezra, a former pension consultant and author of Life Two. Together, we explore the psychological and practical questions that arise during this stage of life. Don always offers great insights and tips on how to redefine retirement, and shines in this video.
In the discussion I agreed that the word retirement is very negative and backward-looking, whereas really we can look forward to a long and fulfilling future. Yet we tend to be scared when we retire, fearing one or more of three big things:
(1) Who am I? (The identity question)
(2) How will I fill my time? (The practical question)
(3) Will I outlive my money? (The financial question)
For our chat I skipped the third question, since Steadyhand helps its clients answer the question very well. And to help with the first two questions, I took a step back and talked about Big-P Purpose and little-p purposes. In particular, I mentioned George Kinder’s three (different) questions that help you to identify a Big-P Purpose, and Ed Jacobson’s concept of our “life’s abundance portfolio,” from which we can identify the things that will fill our time happily.
I also mentioned the Venn Diagram concept that helps a couple be two individual people as well as partners – a concept that audiences tend to remember most vividly when I talk about it!
Anyway, I hope you’ll check out the 21-minute online video.
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The second reference was in a podcast I listen to frequently, Joe Casey on Retirement Wisdom. Joe interviewed me about five years ago. This time his guest was Dr Jordan Grumet, the author of The Purpose Code: how to unlock meaning, maximize happiness, and leave a lasting legacy.
Dr Grumet obviously goes into the subject more deeply than I have ever done. Along the way, he suggests four “purpose anchors” to help you identify your own purposes.
The first is regret. What would you regret, on your deathbed? Use your own response to build some purpose in your life now, while you have the chance.
The second is the joys of childhood. What did you do as a child, things that you did just because you enjoyed them, regardless of what society may have thought?
The third is the art of subtraction. Think about your job, and all the things you don’t like about it. What’s left is a purpose anchor.
And the fourth is the spaghetti method. Throw a bunch of stuff against the wall and see what sticks. In other words, try things you don’t normally try, hang out with people you don’t normally hang out with (in other words, say “yes” more often), and see if you like any of it.
He says that purpose looks like having a calendar that’s completely filled with things that you put there, any any of them can be cancelled at any time. The calendar is filled with things you love, and has very few things there that you dislike. That, he says, is the calculus of happiness. When you’re young, your calendar has a lot of things that others put there, that you don’t love. And so your goal should be, over the years, to fill it much more with things that you put there, because you love doing them.
Wisdom!
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Takeaway
Four ways to identify little-p purposes that bring happiness to your life.
2 Comments
I have written about retirement planning before and some of that material also relates to topics or issues that are being discussed here. Where relevant I draw on material from three sources: The Retirement Plan Solution (co-authored with Bob Collie and Matt Smith, published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 2009), my foreword to Someday Rich (by Timothy Noonan and Matt Smith, also published by Wiley, 2012), and my occasional column The Art of Investment in the FT Money supplement of The Financial Times, published in the UK. I am grateful to the other authors and to The Financial Times for permission to use the material here.
Thanks for the mention Don! Always fun to think back to those conversations!
That was a piece of wisdom you gave me — I’ve used it several times since. I’ll always be in your debt. Cheers — Don